Nettles, Nerves and Getting Back on the Bike

I was riding through a small trail behind my house when suddenly a log jumped out in front of me and I hit it going like 2 mph and in slow motion I tipped over and fell onto my left side. I felt and heard a little crunch (like when you crack your knuckles or something). I laid in the foliage for a few seconds when all of a sudden I started feeling stinging on my leg, my forearm and the side of my hand. I got up as quick as I could and was like “what did I land in? Why does my whole body sting/itch?” I looked at the green leaves I had just crushed with my body and realized that I landed in nettles. 

I got my new bike up (way to go me for dumping it before it was a month old), fixed the seat so I could step my foot over it and started riding away, hoping that the breeze would lessen the stinging. I was so annoyed at myself. Okay, confession: the log didn’t jump out at me, I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t looking ahead of me on the trail; a skill that has gotten rusty after quite a few years of not riding a bike consistently. 

I used to ride bikes all the time. In the late 2000s and early 2010s I rode A LOT. I rode my old mountain bike (which I still have today) in the Racoon Rally at Allegany State Park twice and did tons of road biking events including the Five Borough Bike Tour in New York City. I never did much super technical mountain biking but I loved a long distance ride. 

In 2015 I was in a bike accident. More specifically, a car hit me and my friend while we were riding. It was a bad accident and it took a while for me to heal physically. Mentally it’s taken even longer. I don’t think I’ll ever ride on the road like I used to again…and that makes me sad. I really loved it. But people just aren’t paying attention when they drive. 

I didn't stop riding altogether, really. I only managed one or two rides a year for the last handful of years. As I said before, I really miss riding and guess what? The cool thing I realized  a while ago is that there aren’t cars in the woods! There are trees, rocks, roots and other things, (like logs), but that’s my job to miss those…and I guess I wasn’t doing the greatest job at that. So, I decided to get back into mountain biking. 

As I rode down that trail, grumbling to myself as the stinging continued, I thought…”what the hell am I doing? I’m 51, I’m fatter than I’ve ever been (not a bad thing! Just a fact because it could matter a bit when it comes to biking and something that I mentally have to think about now) and it’s been years since I have really ridden on trails.” The saying for remembering how to do something literally is “it’s just like riding a bike” and in that moment I thought,  “really?” True, I can ride and balance still but I felt awkward. The starting and stopping. Getting used to the fancy, dropper post, (which is super cool as you can adjust the height of your seat on the fly), and just getting used to the feel of a different bike. Oh, did I mention, it is an electric mountain bike or an e-mtb for short? So it also has new buttons to get used to. 

And then there's just…what it feels like to be in this body on a bike. My thighs were hitting my belly as I pedaled. It's not painful, it's just…there. A sensation I don't remember from the last time I rode regularly and something my nervous system is going to need to get used to. For some people that might not be a big deal but for me, sensorily, it's a thing.
And honestly there was a moment where that little voice crept in. The one that whispered that I didn't belong out there on a fancy e-MTB…am I cheating?

 [Pause, breathe]. 

I want to name where that voice comes from, because it didn't come from me. It comes from a society rooted in white supremacy and body hierarchy that has spent a long time telling fat people that we're only allowed in active spaces if we're trying to change our bodies. I know that's not true. I believe with my whole chest that fat people belong everywhere outdoors. And yet sometimes that messaging still finds a crack and gets in anyway. That's what internalized fatphobia does. It's not a personal failing, it's a result of living in the world we live in.

Riding down the trail (and looking where I was going), I began to think about learning things and getting good at things. I have a bad habit of thinking that if I'm not immediately good at something then, what's the point? Who else is with me? I tend to be kinda good at things that interest me pretty quickly and I think that that is because I usually hyperfocus and learn as much as I can about the thing that I'm interested in before I really do it. Maaaybe that is it? I know I have pretty good body proprioception (in the most basic terms, that means knowing where your body is in space) and lots of things I do require movement which is how proprioception can be strengthened. I also notice details which can help with some art and stuff like that. However, none of that actually matters if I don't just…do the thing.

And that's kind of the point, isn't it? The only way to actually get good at something is to do it. Like actually do it. You can read all the blogs (hi) and watch all the YouTube videos you want but at some point you just have to get on the bike and do the thing. It's going to feel weird. You might fall into nettles. But you do it anyway.

And, the more I rode, even while grumbling and itching, the more it started coming back. Not perfectly. Not gracefully. But I could feel it coming back. Our body remembers more than we think it does. Okay, I guess it is like riding a bike…geez. 

Now, I want to acknowledge something...Getting on a bike is not the same experience for everyone in a larger body. Finding a bike that actually fits and has an appropriate weight limit can be genuinely hard. Saddles may be too narrow, weight limits on standard bikes can be frustratingly low and bike shop staff don't always know how to help bigger riders. I’m right at the top of my bike’s weight limit (which is hard to understand). Finding a good shop that will listen to you and take you seriously is huge. There are modifications that can help too. Things like a wider saddle or sturdier wheels and a good shop can help you figure that out. I had to modify my bike. Since I have a large belly and very short legs, I couldn’t stand over the top tube of the bike with its original 29 inch wheels, (dangerous). The shop I bought it at switched out those for 27.5 inch wheels and now I feel much safer because I can stand over the bike. A great resource for folks in bigger bodies that want to ride has been put together by All Bodies on Bikes. Check it out here!

So to wrap this up, I was scared. What if I had completely forgotten how? What if my body just…couldn't anymore? What if I made a total fool of myself? (More of a fool than falling into nettles at 2 mph? Debatable.) But I got on the bike anyway. The woods don't care how long it's been. Come try it if you want.

P.S. If you know me at all, you know how important I think representation is and that is why I've added all the photos below. Fat people belong on bikes!​

And, if you've been thinking about trying mountain biking and just…haven't…I want to tell you about something. I'm on the board of Rooted Mountain Bike Festival which is happening in July and it is genuinely one of the most welcoming events I've ever been part of. 2026 will be it’s 7th year and I’ve been a part of it every year. Here is a blurb about the festival: 
                  A place for women and genderqueer folks (WTFNB) to get together to ride, learn, and build relationships.                     The Festival is designed to choose your own adventure with group rides, skills clinics, pop-up clinics                             brought on by festival goers, happy hours, educational chats, and more.  We hope you join us in the
                 energy boosting filled weekend and come out feeling refreshed and empowered! 

They'll have loaner bikes which means you could literally just show up and try it (you do have to  buy a ticket first). I will be honest though, the loaner options may not work for everyone in larger bodies yet, and that needs to change, but it's a start and Rooted is the kind of community that cares about that stuff. Currently, the weight limit on the loaner bikes are 300lbs
Even if you don’t want to ride the whole weekend, there are all kinds of things to do. We will have crafts, yoga and other mindfulness offerings, bonfires, panels, camping and community.